New math

Once upon a time, there was 1 man + 1 woman and they were in love. Over the next 22 years, 1 man + 1 woman = 4 children + 1 father law + 1 mother in law + 3 dogs + 3 cats + 2 rabbits + 1 hamster. Man and woman have their eye on the prize (retirement). Man is very busy working his company, to the exclusion of everything else. Woman decides it's time to lighten the load. Buh bye, lazy, good for nothing 19 year old. OUT. To all 4 children, "if the animals started off being yours, either take them with you or find them homes or I will take care of it." Child #1 took her dog to college, 1 rabbit + 1 hamster died and all the others were taken to the humane society by woman. Save the 1 cat. Mostly because she's old, an outside cat, and woman LIKES her.

Are you still with me? The load has been lightened to where 1 man + 1 woman = 2 teenagers + 1 father in law + 1 cat.

Until last month. Man decides having child #1, who is fresh out of college, move back home and go to work for his company. And if you've done the math correctly, you know that that puts them up 1 more child and 1 dog.

By now, woman is feeling old and broken and tired and frustrated and is ready to move on to a new phase in her life. Apparently it's not the phase that, until just last year, man and woman were in together. Woman is feeling overworked and underappreciated, so she is going to get a "real" job for the first time in 23 years of marriage.

Stay with me now...

The 2 teenagers whine that it's not fair that child #1 still has 1 dog, so they ask MAN for pets. They're just SMALL PETS, the man says, and pleads their case. Woman, who is sporting a new attitude, agrees. Adding 2 more pets is a FINE idea. (can you sense womans sarcasm? Yes, so do family members. Did that stop them? No.)

Not only that, but small animal #1 is one of those social type mammals, so it wouldn't really be fair having it in a cage all by itself. Woman decides that child #4 should have another social type mammal to keep #3s social type mammal company in the cage.

Woman suggested they look around some more while at the pet store and all of a sudden, aforementioned family members get scared looks on their faces. Hey! Woman is just trying to be agreeable this time, instead of being the bad guy!

Now it's time to check your math...

Last week: 1 man + 1 woman = 2 teenagers + 1 father in law + 1 cat

This week: 1 man + 1 woman = 3 children + 1 father in law + 1 cat + 1 dog + 1 Russian tortoise + 2 guinea pigs

I'm telling you, new math is MESSED UP!

If you sense that I've had a self defining revelation, you would be right. The people I thought would make me happy over the last 23 years have not, and looking back, it was quite selfish of me to expect them to. I chose to be a SAHM, I thought that making everyone else happy would make me happy, and the realization after 23 years of not being able to make everyone else happy has made me unhappy. But, I have a new attitude and it's feeling quite liberating!

Updates are sure to come. Thanks for stopping by, I'll be back soon with some projects I've been working on. :-)


  1. Oh Suzanne! Your New Math makes my head hurt! I so hope that the final formulas have a positive outcome!

  2. I think you need to stop doing the "math" yourself and get an accountant to do it for you :)
    I'll be waiting for the updates to come.

  3. I hate this new math . . . HUGS!!!

  4. Yikes...thats some serious math there! I will be looking for the updates...

  5. LOL!!! thanks for the laugh this afternoon! I am watching and learning from you to see what is in my future with all of these kids. haha. can't wait to see some updates!

  6. Oh, boy, I can sympathize. Cause even with just one daughter, life is always stressful!! I call mine the DQ (Drama Queen)!!

  7. LOL. That math made for some good reading. Here's hoping the negative turns out positive in the future...

  8. Wow! That's a lotta math!
    Best wishes on your new attitude and job, any hints as to what that will be???

  9. I think you should stop doing the math!

  10. PUT YOUR PENCIL (or calculator) DOWN! Oh my goodness Suzanne ((hugs))my head is hurting after reading that post I can't imagine what you are going through. Ok well maybe I can with 5 kids- well maybe not... I have not caved on the pet thing because we all know who really ends up taking care of them! make sure you are doing something for you girlfriend!

  11. well, my parents new math as of last week is 1 man + 1 woman + 1 new dog + 1 almost 30 year old child + child's dog. Its a temporary arrangement, but my mom's already complaining its cramping her style!

  12. wow, I used to like math... this one is no fun- Take some time for yourself- you deserve it!!

  13. Well, I do feel better now myself. I think I will get the job now!!!

  14. Loved your post Suzanne!!! I hope your kids or your husband read it and realize how much they should be pampering you (and not the other way around!)

  15. Aw Suze......you poor thing. You'll get there, in the meantime enjoy the ride :)

  16. CHICK! I have missed you over at CTS - I had to come seek you out, and this post did not disappoint!! Feel free to find temporary refuge at my house!